Heard this song a few times on XM, however this morning it got me thinking about a platform for a blog.
I am 60 days away from being single 3 years (not counting / considering a few bumps in the road).
Some say I have turned into a professional bachelor. Some say worst!
It is a great debate isn't it; The line between being single and having a relationship. (we'll get back to this)
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I thought I met my soul mate a few years ago (7 years ago now, if we're concerned about details). It lasted 4 years and took me 2 years to get over. Seriously!
It shook me at my core and totally got me off center for a long time. To say the whole experience made me better, worst, smarter, guarded, selfish, kinder, closed, open.... I don't know! To be honest I really don't care to go back to that place of self examination.
If you are there, get the hell out has promptly has physically and mentally possible. It isn't a place to be hanging around waiting for a revelation... lol... it's a place where no friends come to visit (if they can help it)............. Has effortlessly or trying has it is to get there, it is just as hard or easy to get out.
BUT NOTE; ONLY YOU GO THERE AND ONLY YOU GET YOURSELF BACK OUT.
With that said, this experience combined with everything else has made me look at relationships different; it certainly made me acknowledge what I need and want. I certainly don't jump feet first, yet I know that in life relationship play an important part in someone's happiness. (qualifying that it needs to be the right relationship). With a mix of 2 compatible people.
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Now where do we go from here, do we explore compatibility or do we get back to my first open ended phrase (the line between being single and having a relationship). Or do we go elsewhere?
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hummmmmmmmmmmm.. Ok, first we all can agree that we want to be in a great relationship??? Yes, Yes, We all do! Period.
So like a mouth watering dish that everyone tries to copy, we ask what are the ingredients, what's in this?? (Before I proceed, I must qualify these are my thoughts, no research no polling a million people, so don't hate me when I am done and add judging comments, I will simply delete.. hehehe),.....
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Ok, Ingredients from a part time cook, full time eater!
- You both independently need to be balanced people. (Not explaining balanced, you know what I am shooting for here)
- Each need to be content with yourself (PLEASE Don't lie to yourself about this.... super important). If you are not, don't go swimming! Enough people are drowning already don't need you out there flopping around taking up precious pool space. :-).
If you are content, then you should test a potential mate to ensure they are where they need to be, where you need them to be. PLEASE don't get caught up in the word test, as a negative thing. TEST them, it is potentially the rest of your life partnership we are talking about here. TEST AWAY. Don't apologize!
- Know what you are looking for. Traits. You will never find 100% compatibility, but what's wrong with 80 / 90%, you gotta have a base. Conversely, the things that drive you crazy need to be identified as show stoppers. THEY DON"T GO AWAY. You can not change someone. I will repeat, you can not change someone.
- Attraction; If you think you are a 12 and see the other person as a 8, and or visa versa. It won't work. I won't waste time explaining this to you. If you disagree with this, you are screwed and you are on your own.
- From minute one, day one, minimize the lies. (Everyone lies; it's a fact!) Knowing this is power, portraying this is wisdom. You can and have no choice but have a relationship with lies within it. OK? Move on!!!!!
Now we need to gauge our lies, how minor, how major. Stay away from any and all major lies, once you start you can't stop, once you have planted just one major lie, the trust is lost on both sides, even if the truth is not known by one party.
- TRUST - most Important!!!! Whatever you do, form trust early in the relationship and do whatever you can, do whatever you must!!!! to never, ever, ever loose or fracture that trust.
.... GOOD LUCK....
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Think I am getting off track alittle, sounding like a counselor not a blogger... lol
That's enough so called relationship advice from this aka Professional Bachelor.
lol... I can"t bare to place an image in my mind of what you are all thinking..
"OH God, petty the pour girl that crosses his path".. lol....
All in good fun and hopefully happiness sooner rather than later for us all.
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In reading back, I may have drummed up a few more future blogging topics. Opening old wounds in this blogging environment is alittle tough and humbling. I decided to start blogging to get my writing spirit back, and it as to a certain extent done that.
It has also given me an insight into a possible new form of expression and art, to channel and release some haunting thoughts that the ghost busters haven't been able to assist me with.
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I leave you with a quote from H.P. Liddon.
" What we do on some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are; and what we are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline." --- H.P. Liddon
Choose to Care....
Choose to Care....
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